Random Ramblings

There has been so much going on in my life lately and I have no idea how to put some of it into words. I have been thinking a lot about what it is that God wants me do in ministry and I am wondering if student ministry is where I am supposed to be anymore. But I still can't escape the love for student ministry that I have. Yet then I really feel that God wants me to do something else and I am cool with that. I really feel that there is much more I want to do ministry-wise and being a pastor to students would prevent me from those things, so it will be interesting to figure out what it is that God will end up doing. Having said all that, I must say that this past weekend when I went with the Rockpointe Student Ministry for their annual weekend retreat called "Revolution" that it was so hard! It was so hard to sit there and watch the new youth pastor get introduced as the new youth pastor and to see everyone pray for him. I sat there thinking how much I had hoped and prayed that it would be me. As he shared about how God revealed to him and his wife that it was the place for them, I sat there and thought about how Kimmy and I thought those very same things. There were so many things that we thought were signs pointing to me becoming the youth pastor at Rockpointe. It amazes me how people will emote about how God works things out so greatly and how things go so smoothly for you when you are following Him, but do they ever stop and think about the people that are and yet things don't fall in place for them. I think that when pastors promote that concept then they set people up to fail and fall. If I stopped and looked at how my life is going and relied upon that particular "theology" then I would just as soon walk away from my faith, because I obviously am not following God. Things are not going smoothly for us. I have been in a dead end job that I absolutely hate and I have a burning desire to be in ministry and countless numbers of other people have said the same thing, but yet here I sit 12 years later in the same place. Why? I have no idea, but my faith is not in things falling together smoothly and having ministry job after ministry job fall in my lap, it is in the fact that I know God loves me and sent His Son to die for me.