that was hard

on sunday i had my last youth group meetings and it was hard. for the sunday morning worship time, i had some curiculum stuff that i had planned on using but on saturday night felt led to do something different. i didn't want those words to be my last words with them, not that they weren't good, i just wanted to leave something that i felt was a little more lasting and meaningful. so i talked about maturity and what that means and how we need to have lives moving towards that. it was something that i wanted to challenge them with as i leave. i made no big deal that it was my last sunday with them in the youth group setting, either in our morning worship service or in the evening small groups. i did not do this because i want to just see this thing continue on without any bumps and hope that all will go well. in the evening after the small groups were done, i just went out where they were and hung out with them. a few of them realized that was the last youth group event with me and one of them gave me a big hug and just held onto me. i fought back the tears big time! after the last of the students left i went back into the church building where my youth staff was waiting for our usual late night hang out and i went into the bathroom and shed a few tears. then me and my staff went out for our very last, late night hang out to denny's. it was sad and hard, but i tried to put on that normal face and just enjoy my time with them. after all that was done a few of us went over to one of the youth staffer's home and we hung out, laughed and cried. i will miss these friend's who pastored these students right along side of me. then monday, i had to go and fill out an application at panera bread so i could make the extra money needed and have health insurance for the time in between ministry positions. it was hard because i am so frustrated with this whole situation and was hoping that i could have just gone from my part-time position here at my church to that full-time position that God is going to open up, but the elder's at my church decided on a time when i should just leave so instead i am in the position i am in. but i know that God was not surprised by any of this or even shocked and that He has a plan. and then we come to the good news i got on tuesday... my dad's company is going to be able to take me on full-time and provide health insurance for me. this was a HUGE relief and blessing. am i thrilled to be working there full-time again? no way! but it is a lot better than what the alternative was going to be. so now i am gonna go see if i can get a job working a couple of days a week at caribou coffee or something like that just to help bring in a little extra money so we can pay off some bills and make the move to the new ministry we will be a part of that much easier. keep praying for that position that God has for us at whatever church in whatever state to come and my hope is that it will come soon.